


Should You Return

by wallwindow



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant?, Inspired by a song (by Copeland), M/M, Nijimura-san is best captain ever, Oreshi!Akashi, fluff?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-04
Updated: 2015-08-04
Packaged: 2018-04-13 00:08:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4500132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wallwindow/pseuds/wallwindow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Akashi loves being Nijimura's vice-captain.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Should You Return

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to write about every NijiAka fangirl's head canon that Akashi had a crush on Nijimura in middle school but it ended up as angst inspired by a song. o_o
> 
> (Heavily inspired by Copeland's song "Should You Return". Please listen to the song before reading or while reading for added angst effect! *O*  
> Link for the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUcdu2r4HGw)

**Should You Return**

 

_You see the night is all I have to make me feel_

_And all I want is just a love to make it hurt_

_Cause all I need is something fine to make me lose_

_Now it's a funny way I find myself with you_

_Because this song is all I have to make me feel_

_And all it takes is just a love to make it hurt_

_And every sound arranged in time can make me lose_

_Now it's a funny way I find myself with you_

 

Akashi loves leading, loves being in control and having power over everything, loves proclaiming the final word. He loves doing these as if it's his destiny to perform these tasks. Well, he has been raised to do so. If you have been culminated into being something all-throughout your life, surely you have no other choice but to embrace it, embrace yourself, and be the absolute person you can ever be.

 

However, he also loves being Teiko basketball team’s second-in-command, loves consulting his captain once he has come up with a new strategy for the team, loves acquiring his senpai’s seal of approval. Now, Akashi’s not particularly sure why he loves doing these, but what he’s certain of is that he loves being _Nijimura-san’s_ vice-captain. This makes his life more delightful than ever before.

 

(He has heard the rumors that Nijimura has made questionable life choices previously, like stealing a motorcycle and dyeing his hair blonde, but Akashi commends how his upperclassman has boldly suggested to the coaches to make Akashi the vice-captain considering he’s only a freshman.)

 

“No, seriously, Akashi, I don’t think that’s humanly possible.”

 

Akashi also secretly adores how his captain’s eyebrows furrow whenever he explains to him complex strategies and tactics that they should try in the next game; he’s fond, too, of how the second year’s upper lip protrudes when he’s irritated at Akashi’s overly polite way of speaking.

 

“If you would give me your kind permission to provide a demonstration---“

 

“Akashi, wait—relax, you’re not giving a presentation in front of Akashi Corporation’s board of directors or something, it’s just me, and I will not hit you if you speak normally.”

 

“This is how I speak _normally_ , Nijimura-san.” ( _And it’s okay if you hit me_ is left unsaid.)

 

There it goes—the captain’s upper lip sticks out another lever higher. Akashi smiles mentally at the sight, although his own lips might have betrayed him and have actually quirked upward in a faint smile (but he guesses Nijimura is too preoccupied scowling to notice so it should be fine). He’s amused at how their “captain and vice-captain’s thrice a week meeting” usually ends up in this fashion. He’s also amused at how it doesn’t bother him at all, if anything, he finds it absolutely endearing.

 

Come to think of it, this might be one of the reasons why Akashi has no qualms about not being the team’s leader. This might be one of the explanations why he loves his position as Nijimura’s vice-captain more than he thinks he should.

 

And he’s more than fine when there are days they don’t actually have a scheduled meeting, but Nijimura asks him to stay anyway to have an impromptu discussion together regarding the progress of each starting member. Usually, Akashi feels quite uncomfortable if something unplanned arises since he has already carefully arranged the day’s “to-do list” beforehand to avoid wasting time. But this is acceptable, since spending the whole afternoon with Nijimura is the exact opposite of uncomfortable. It’s rather soothing.

 

“Thanks for your time today, Akashi. Let me treat you to some dinner to make up for the sudden meeting. I honestly forgot to ask earlier if you already have something planned for the afternoon,” Nijimura says, scratching his right cheek with his long forefinger (Akashi notes it’s attractive). He doesn’t appear bashful, but he does look concerned. Perhaps he’s guilty for assuming Akashi’s supposedly free the whole afternoon hence has not made an effort to confirm.

 

Akashi smiles a bit impishly at that, he’s still not used to his captain speaking in a soft voice while conversing with him. He usually speaks with conviction using his too-deep-for-a-middle-school-student voice, and that’s one of the things Akashi considers quite admirable.

 

Apparently, Akashi deems a lot of his captain’s traits commendable.

 

“It’s not an issue, it doesn’t warrant making up for, Nijimura-san. I’m prepared for instances such as this the minute I accepted to be your other vice-captain.”

 

He almost adds " _I can always allot time for you_." Almost.  
 

Nijimura somehow looks surprised hearing that; ten seconds of silence ensue.

 

And then when Akashi’s heart seems to start thumping louder amidst the silence (whether in anticipation of something, Akashi doesn’t know), Nijimura smirks and pats his kouhai’s head.

 

 “Then let’s have dinner as friends who happen to stay late at school together. Come on, it's on me, you must be starving after all that talking. I was just listening to you 80% of the time and it made me extremely hungry.”

 

Akashi blinks, he feels his chest heats up after hearing the word ‘ _friends_ ’ and at the sudden contact; he thinks his heart has truly started hammering louder and has even somersaulted a little. It has always been a wonder to him why Nijimura would sometimes pat Midorima’s head, ruffle Kuroko’s hair, flick Murasakibara and Aomine’s forehead when they’re acting childish, or connect his fist to Haizaki’s jaw during the times he’s skipping practices… but Nijimura almost never does these things to him (though he's at least aware why Nijimura won’t ever punch him).

 

Scratch that, he vaguely has an idea why but chooses not to dwell on it. The idea only makes him… confused; it’s hard to distinguish if it should make him proud or gloomy. At any rate, his senpai will treat him to dinner shortly, he doubts Nijimura will do this with any of the aforementioned anytime soon. It's like a battle won.

 

He catches Nijimura’s gray eyes staring directly at his ruby ones.

 

He's convinced that the feeling inside his chest can't get any warmer, but then it does. As soon as Nijimura pulls his hand away from Akashi’s hair, the redhead instantly misses the touch, but he only smiles at his black-haired captain, gently this time. The warm sensation in his chest has apparently already made its way to his face and he hopes Nijimura won’t pay it any attention.

 

“Then I humbly accept the offer, Nijimura-san. I look forward to eating dinner with you.”

 

Spending the whole afternoon with Nijimura hardly makes him hungry, it’s the opposite as a matter of fact. It energizes him. But of course he will not reveal this to the power forward.

 

Nijimura just chuckles at that, “oi, oi, no need to say such super formal shit, let’s go!”

 

Akashi is 99% certain that Nijimura will bring him to Maji Burger. Nijimura doesn’t particularly like shelling out money, unless he’s in an extremely good mood or some club members are teasing (or forcing?) him to treat them to some popsicles after training. But Akashi is unsurprised that Nijimura betrays his foresight yet again (and that’s where the remaining 1% of his _certainness_ is allocated—he’s certain that Nijimura will once more betray his expectations and do something deviant).

 

They enter the dimly-lit _okonomiyaki_ restaurant with exquisite furniture, there are less people than expected considering it’s already dinner time. Akashi wonders if Nijimura is in a good mood today; he also wonders secretly if how many people Nijimura has already brought with him in this place. They sit next to each other in front of the bar, which enables Akashi to see closely how the chef prepares the food. He’s mildly intrigued; he has never sat at this side of a restaurant. However, he regrets the fact that Nijimura is not sitting opposite him; he has always loved watching his captain eat in the least delicate manner.

 

When they’ve finished placing their orders ( _you can choose whatever you think I have the capacity to pay for_ , Nijimura has said with a snicker), Akashi suddenly has no idea what to do. Should he start a topic? Is Nijimura waiting for him to say something? He tries to sneak a glance at the older male to assess the situation and be able to come up with an appropriate subject matter or course of action, but all logical thoughts have flown out the window as he’s greeted with the sight of his captain watching him intently, jaw on top of his palm and body tilted slightly towards Akashi’s direction as if examining him silently.

 

Akashi gulps and tries to show his most unfazed facial expression.

 

“Nijimura-san, I don’t want to accuse you, but have you been staring at me?”

 

Nijimura’s serious expression vanishes and he chortles in response, “Ah yes, sorry, I just think it’s kinda cute how you look like you're lost in space right now, it’s a rare sight.”

 

“ _Cute_ …?” Akashi murmurs.

 

“Plus I’ve been thinking how lucky Teiko is to have someone like you in the team. How I’m glad you’re my vice-captain. I don’t think I can handle all those weirdoes all by myself. Well actually you’re a weirdo yourself, but you’re the most helpful one.”

 

As if on cue, Akashi’s crimson eyes widen, he also mentally kicks himself for not starting the conversation earlier (they could have talked about the budget for the next training) because he doesn’t think he has the capacity to handle sentimental Nijimura at the moment. Is this what hunger can do to him? Was listening to Akashi’s highfalutin explanations really that taxing?

 

But Akashi is not one to be taken aback easily, he has a proper reply to that, he really has, he can tell Nijimura he shouldn’t give him too much credit, he’s just doing what he’s supposed to do. He can tell him how he’s contented likewise to have Nijimura as their captain for they share the same goals; share the same passion for victory. Perhaps he can also say that he’s satisfied at how with Nijimura around, he doesn’t have to be too uptight and make all the final decisions alone because it’s the captain’s responsibility to be and to do so (although when he presents a proposal, he ensures it’s faultless and will be approved by his captain without any hesitations). Honestly, it’s a breath of fresh air for him, for a lack of a better term. Every time he’s with the captain, he feels that sitting in the passenger’s seat doesn’t make him less powerful. And if ever it does, he doesn’t mind at the slightest.

 

He should be worried, yes, but he can worry about that later.

 

In the meantime, he should tell the raven-haired first that he’s not a weirdo. But as he opens his mouth to let his voice out, a squeal is heard inside the restaurant.

 

“Kyaaa! It’s Nijimura-senpai and Akashi-sama!”

 

Both Akashi and Nijimura transfer their attention to where the voices came from and see two of the managers from the basketball club. Akashi can recognize their faces but can’t remember their names.

 

Admittedly, he’s quite surprised at the intrusion that all he can manage to react is “oh…”

 

And before he can re-compose himself to greet the girls, he hears Nijimura bursting into a loud laughter. Akashi quickly directs his attention back to Nijimura—he sees the captain with his eyes tightly shut as his broad shoulders shake, he’s even clutching his stomach.

 

“Ahahahahaha! I thought for sure ‘obocchan’ is the best one, but ‘Akashi-sama’ isn’t bad either!”

 

Akashi stares stunned at the overjoyed Nijimura, his mouth doing something uncharacteristic of him such as gaping, but the person beside him seems genuinely happy and carefree and precious (and it looks like he will start rolling on the floor any minute now because of excessive laughing) that Akashi can’t bring himself to care at how his bewilderment must be openly reflecting on his face.

 

“Nijimura-san…” he whispers more to the air than to the older guy sitting beside him.

 

It doesn’t look like Nijimura is going to stop cackling anytime soon so Akashi takes his time to gaze at his captain. Moments like this must be treasured, usually his senpai sports an incredibly serious “ _I’m the captain of a middle school basketball club having more than a hundred members_ ” expression on his face which makes him seem much older than he actually is, or sometimes he has this tiny “ _I’m the captain of a middle school basketball club having more than a hundred members_ ” smile on his lips looking proud, and there are also plenty of instances wherein he displays this “ _I’m the captain of a middle school basketball club having weirdoes and basketball idiots as starting members_ ” scowl on his matured face. Come to think of it, Akashi witnesses much more of the third one, it should be alarming but that scowl is dear to him.

 

But at this very moment, his captain is laughing freely that it’s almost childish, he has never seen him this way before (and he has never thought that his captain’s sense of humor is quite shallow). Normally Akashi would be vexed at the situation, but this is his esteemed captain: the person he doesn’t mind leading him or even snatching his belongings away from him abruptly, or even ordering him to do things (such as punishing a teammate), the person who appreciates all his hard work (which is not particularly hard, all the work is normal for Akashi), the person who criticizes his manner of speaking and lifestyle every now and then but actually seems the most entertained by it, the person whom maybe… he won’t mind losing to if it must come to that.

 

Akashi basks in the sound of Nijimura’s unabashed laughter, it's overwhelming.

 

And at this exact moment too, he realizes, he doesn’t mind being “Akashi-sama” if being one can make his senpai laugh like this.

 

Ah, Akashi loves being with his captain so much it almost hurts.

_But now there's nothing left to do but waste my time_

_I never knew where to move on_

_I never knew what to rely upon_

_But now there's nothing left to say to change your mind_

_And if you're unhappy still_

_I will be hanging on your line_

_Should you return_

_Should you return_

_Should you return_

 

_Because the night is all I have to make me feel_

_And all I want is just a dream to make it worthwhile_

_Cause all I need is someone close to make me lose_

_Now it's a funny way I find myself with you_

 

Akashi will never succumb to the error of doing something he will regret, but regretting something he has failed to do is a different story. That night at the _okonomiyaki_ restaurant, he should have given his intended response to Nijimura’s “I’m glad you’re my vice-captain” speech (perhaps a minute after he has stopped laughing).

 

“It’s a bit early, but you’re the captain from now on, Akashi.”

 

Myriad of scenes flash inside Akashi’s head all at once—the way he ran alongside Nijimura during morning warm-ups, the days they stood side-by-side on the court’s sidelines while observing their teammates as if they were kids and the two of them were their parents (he would never admit to viewing it that way though, he’d rather gouge his eyes out), the scheduled and unscheduled captain-and-vice-captain meetings following their club activities.

 

Nijimura relinquishing the captaincy and handing it over to Akashi will deprive Akashi of the above-mentioned things. Of his source of pride and joy.

 

“It hasn’t been decided yet.”

 

He lowers his head slightly.

 

How to delay this, how to avoid this, how to keep being what he loves being.

 

“Sure it has. You gonna force me to stay as a captain after hearing all that?”

 

Nijimura’s signature upper lip pout materializes and if the context were different, Akashi would definitely smile at that. After all he thinks his senpai is rather charming each time he does that, though for sure Nijimura intends to show people how annoyed he is, instead of showing them how attractive he can be, when doing that.

 

The strong wind outside blows as if it’s mocking Akashi, the windows rattle as if it’s laughing at him.

 

Akashi keeps silent for a few seconds, with the talent and skills he possesses, he won’t deny that he has seen this one coming, but he simply doesn’t want it to come, not at this time, not under these circumstances.

 

“Feeling uncertain?”

 

However, now is not the time to feel uncertain and to have the leeway to consider his own feelings.  

 

He slowly lifts his head to look at the taller guy’s face. Despite his senpai’s best effort to appear casual and fine about this ordeal, Akashi sees otherwise. Or rather he convinces himself that his soon-to-be-not-captain-anymore is not completely happy with this, too, that deep in his heart he still wishes to work together with Akashi as captain and vice-captain. That he still wants things to be as they are.

 

“No, I’m merely worried about you, Nijimura-san.”

 

He genuinely feels worried about the person standing in front of him. He has never been close to his father hence he doesn’t understand how Nijimura must be truly feeling toward all of this, or how he managed to firmly make up his resolve to abandon his captaincy for the sake of his family.

 

But if his senpai strongly feels this way, there’s nothing even Akashi’s perfect self can do to halt this. 

 

“Figures.”

 

Nijimura has the audacity to smile whereas Akashi can gradually feel his heart tearing into tiny pieces. Nijimura’s bravery is probably one of the (many) things that Akashi respects most about him. But now Akashi can only stare at his captain’s face as he tries to envision how the following days will transpire with Nijimura not being the captain anymore, and him not being Nijimura’s vice-captain anymore. 

 

“That’s why I’m not worried at all, I have faith in you, Captain Akashi.”

 

But with that, Akashi feels the tiny pieces of his heart unceremoniously gather back in one place and tightens inside his chest, becomes stronger than ever before.

 

Right there and then a new mission is born. He will lead the team and Teiko to as many victorious battles as possible regardless if there’s only his own self to rely on this time, he will not fail Nijimura. He will not waver. He will do as Nijimura wishes. He will do the best job as his captain’s successor.

 

But in the meantime he will permit himself at least thirty seconds to wallow in regret that he’s not able to inform Nijimura that he genuinely loves being his vice-captain… it’s a pity that it appears he won’t be able to confess to Nijimura that the latter holds a very special place in his heart. He can’t today, not anytime soon.

 

Nijimura doesn’t need unwanted distractions as much as Akashi doesn’t need anything that will not help contribute to attaining his goals. 

 

“Understood.”

 

With that in mind, he pledges he will keep these feelings he has for the gray-eyed ex-captain all to himself. At least until he _return_ s.

 

_But now there's nothing left to do but waste my time_

_I never knew where to move on_

_I never knew what to rely upon_

_But now there's nothing left to say to change your mind_

_And if you're unhappy still_

_I will be hanging on your line_

_But now there's nothing left to do to draw your eyes_

_I never knew where to move on_

_I never knew what to rely upon_

_But now there's nothing left to say to change your mind_

_And if you're just sinking down_

_I will be pulling on your line_

 

Akashi and Nijimura exchange jersey number, from 4 to 9 and vice-versa. And that’s the last important thing they have ever exchanged from then on.

 

No more extensive exchange of ideas, no more exchange of knowing glances.

 

Akashi has been very busy managing the gradually mutating starting line-up of the team; Nijimura has been heading home right after practice. The former captain has clearly placed a distance between himself and the team, especially his kouhais.

 

Today Akashi attempts to take a glimpse of his former captain during practice and he quickly notices that his eyes have become sharper, his cheekbones more visible. It makes him look even more mature and if this happened a few months ago, Akashi would have found it alluring. But he knows better now, he knows it’s a sign that Nijimura has been having a hard time at home, has been pushing himself too hard for the sake of his family, has been drifting farther away from him.

 

It doesn’t seem like Nijimura will return anytime soon.

 

Akashi dismisses club activities earlier than expected that afternoon.

 

_But now there's nothing left to do but waste my time_

_I never knew where to move on_

_I never knew what to rely upon_

_But now there's nothing left to say to change your mind_

_And if you're unhappy still_

_I will be hanging on your line_

 

Summer break has ended much to Akashi’s dismay and while he’s on his way to the basketball gym after his classes, he meets Nijimura by chance at the corridors.

 

“Oh, Akashi.”

 

A sudden wave of nostalgia hits him. It feels as though it has been ages since they’ve last spent time together, just the two of them.

 

“Nijimura-san.”

 

They end up going to the school’s rooftop.

 

“As you know, the 3rd years will finally be retiring from the club this afternoon,” Nijimura is the one to start the conversation, his tone thoughtful, it stirs something unwanted inside Akashi almost painfully.

 

It’s one of the exceptional times wherein the current captain can’t read the atmosphere. Both he and Nijimura are gazing at the view in front of them, at the setting sun, and Akashi’s not sure why both of them can’t find the strength to look at each other.

 

“Yes,” Akashi answers plainly. He’s afraid he might end up saying something he must not say if he utters more than one word.

 

“You’ve been doing a good job ensuring victories for the team, I don’t have any regrets recommending you as the new captain.”

 

Akashi closes his eyes in contemplation. If his former captain doesn’t have any regrets, then it means he’s on the right path. He just hopes he meets him again in this path someday.

 

“Akashi.”

 

Akashi opens his eyes and soon he’s already staring at Nijimura’s sharp eyes, which appear more silvery now than gray, thanks to the sunrays illuminating his features. He tries his best to avoid being lost in them.

 

Nijimura smiles at him, the same smile he showed Akashi that fateful evening he surrendered his position as a captain.

 

“See you around.”

 

Akashi swallows, there are so many things he wants to say to Nijimura, many things he wants to do. But his more rational self reminds him that nothing will change regardless, if anything, he might just provide unnecessary stress to his former captain.  

 

And so just like in that fateful night, Akashi only replies with “understood.”

 

He has not seen him around after that, and when Akashi’s third year of middle school begins, he hears a rumor that Nijimura flew straight to L.A. after his graduation day.

 

Akashi’s not exactly sure what he’s supposed to do with that information. He has a 3rd championship to secure this year, he doesn’t have the liberty to dwell on —as Kise puts it—“middle school crush” that ended in failure before it has even developed (the only failure he has encountered so far if he can remember correctly).

 

The Teiko captain laughs at himself for his absurdity, and that’s the last time he thinks of Nijimura.

 

Unless he counts the occasional nights when he’s allowed to be honest with himself and muse if Nijimura will ever come back.

 

_Should you return_

_Should you return_

_Should you return_

 

Various events have happened, various people have been met, various realizations have been made, but what even Akashi’s emperor eye has not seen coming is receiving this phone call from Murasakibara, all the way from Akita, during the second day of his summer vacation in their third year high school.

 

“Aka-chin… Muro-chin wants to speak with you~” his former teammate speaks in his usual lazy voice but for some reason, Akashi can feel a tiny hint of excitement in it.

 

Akashi’s brain sets off—trying to come up with logical reasons as to why one of Yosen’s (former) aces wishes to speak with him (and why the two aces are still together despite attending different schools already) until the man in question starts speaking on the other side of the line, ending his train of thoughts immediately.

 

“Good evening, Akashi-kun. You might be wondering why I’m speaking with you now, but I have someone here with me who just came back from the other side of the globe, pretending that he originally intended to visit me, but is just actually here to ask Atsushi and me about his certain kouhai’s whereabouts. And now all he wishes to do is to take the earliest flight to Kyoto tomorrow to punish his former vice-captain for his crazy antics during his first year in high school.”

 

_Vice-captain._

 

Akashi’s positive he has felt his heart stopped beating for a split second when the word reached his ears.

 

“But rest assured I told him there’s no need for that now, hey—Shuu—stop scowling at me, it will not intimidate me, you know. Okay, okay, if you don’t like what I’m saying, here’s the phone. You should talk to him directly.”

 

 _Shuu_? Scowl.

 

Akashi has heard enough keywords and the next thing he knows, he’s gripping his phone tightly as if doing so can transport to Akita all the longing and feelings he has repressed since middle school.

 

He hears something rustle on the other side of the line and he braces himself for what he assumes will follow. Is he going to be scolded? Is he going to be told that he failed _him_?

 

“Akashi.”

 

He hears the voice he hasn’t heard in years. It’s even deeper now; it directly sends a chill down his spine.

 

“Nijimura-san…” he replies, voice faint and obviously faltering even though he doesn’t mean to. He can’t help it; he hasn’t spoken this name in years, too.

 

“I’m back.”

 

Akashi tenses, and after what seems like an eternity, he lets out a breath he doesn’t realize he has been holding. There are many things he wants to say to Nijimura, many things he wants to do.

 

But in the meantime he just smiles, hoping it will reach Akita.

 

After all, his one and only captain has returned.

 

After all, they say the rainbow always returns after the rain.

 

Akashi books the earliest flight he can from Kyoto to Akita that evening right after exchanging phone numbers with Nijimura and texting him a quick “See you, Nijimura-san.”

 

Akashi still loves leading, still loves being in control and having power over everything, still loves proclaiming the final word. At the same time, he still loves his former captain. And now that he has returned, Akashi just wishes to find himself with _Nijimura-san_ again.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know anymore, I just really fell in love with NijiAka. I also want to write something from Nijimura-san's POV using another Copeland song, "Chin Up" but we'll never know.  
> (Aaaah, I haven't written a fic in ages, so I apologize for any mistakes and so on~ But I hope you like it!  
> I also haven't read the manga in its entirety, so perhaps some of the info/timeline used are not consistent with the manga. And I mostly relied on the anime version of the scene where Nijimura passes the torch to Akashi, because I think it's more dramatic, hihi.)


End file.
